


Cilantro

by spiralicious



Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Community: hentai_contest, Crack, M/M, Other, Post Humorous Character Death, Sex Toys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-28
Updated: 2012-09-28
Packaged: 2017-11-15 05:38:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/523758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spiralicious/pseuds/spiralicious
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Miroku and Inuyasha try to spice things up with unexpected consequences.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cilantro

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kiramaru7](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kiramaru7/gifts).



> Warnings: Character death.
> 
> For Kira. I promised her I would kill Kagome. And thank you Kira for pinking.
> 
> I originally wrote this for Multi Fandom Hentai Contest, Prompt 36 "Spice" under the username kattrip033 at livejournal.

It was all over the news. They’d stopped watching the TV. Between the recall announcements and everyone needing to throw in their own opinion, nothing else was on. It’d also taken over YouTube. The media frenzy had made the tragedy an embarrassing farce. Inuyasha was taking the whole thing surprisingly well, although he hadn’t left the house in a month. Miroku worried the half-demon was in a severe form of denial or shock and it was only a matter of time before he snapped. He approached Inuyasha carefully.

“Are you going to change?”

“Why?” Inuyasha calmly shoveled more Ramen into his mouth.

“Well, the funeral is today…” Miroku trailed off, carefully gauging the half-demon’s reaction.

“Oh?” Inuyasha got up and boiled more water for Ramen.

Yes, clearly something was very wrong, Miroku decided. He sighed and went to go get ready for Kagome’s funeral.

The incident had been about a month ago. It had started innocently enough. ‘Innocently’ was not quite the right word, but it was the best way to start this kind of story. Miroku had been trying to find a way to spice up their sex lives that would not scare off Inuyasha. Not that there was anything wrong with their sex lives. It was just that Inuyasha only had a couple of moves. They were good ones, but being tackled to the ground and demanding sex got old…eventually. He needed a little variety. Miroku had spent hours trying to come up with just the right thing until he realized it could be just as simple as buying a sex toy, which turned out to not be simple at all.

After several very loud arguments, Miroku had gotten Inuyasha to agree to go to the store with him, just to look, when the half-demon had refused to get out of the car. With a promise of unprecedented quantities of Ramen, and to never make him do this again, Miroku coaxed Inuyasha out of the car. Inuyasha’s behavior did not improve upon entering the store. Luckily, Miroku had anticipated his reaction and took them at a time when the store would be relatively empty. The half-demon sputtered and complained and balked at each item that confronted him…until something caught his eye. It was a neon green vibrator. The package claimed it glowed in the dark. Miroku came closer to examine what had Inuyasha so fascinated. It wasn’t really that interesting, but when Inuyasha picked it up and proclaimed in a very trance like state, “It’s like…a really, really fat wiggly worm.” Miroku took that as his cue to buy it and leave the store immediately, before Inuyasha started acting up again. He vowed to do his best to never let Inuyasha know it was called the “Mr. Right on Demand.”

They were barely through the door at home, before Inuyasha was stealing batteries from the TV remote to power up his new toy. Miroku took it as a good sign. Things, in fact, were going quite well, until Kagome walked in about twenty minutes later. The poor girl was not exactly aware of the boy’s relationship, so the sight in front of her came as quite a shock and she screamed. Inuyasha’s sudden turn towards the noise sent Mr. Right on Demand flying across the room and nailed Kagome right in the head. She was dead before she hit the ground.

Miroku sighed as he finished tying his tie. He headed out, leaving Inuyasha staring out into space, and mindlessly munching on Ramen. On the way to the funeral, he was stopped by a paparazzo asking what he thought of the Mr. Right on Demand being rereleased with a wrist strap. Miroku did what he thought Inuyasha would have done, he decked him.


End file.
